Leaning Into Grief

Sometimes the full weight of the last year presses in on me, not only for my own great loss of Hope and everything that represents for the rest of my life, but also the losses my family and friends have faced, the losses of people around the world that I don't even know, and our collective losses including loss of normalcy, loss of life as we know it, maybe loss of jobs or the physical presence of family and friends. The list seems endless really. This year has not been kind to so many people and that breaks my heart. So many people have lost loved ones. Because of the collective losses of our entire world, we need to remember to be kind and loving and understanding of one another. Sometimes we have no idea what another person might be grieving. And if you are the griever, lean into it. Let it do its work in you for as long as it takes. It feels awful, but don't be afraid of it. You will be a healthier person for it. It does change your life, but it can be for the better if you allow it. I fully believe that God can and will redeem some incredibly awful situations if we allow Him to do it. Does that make it feel better? No. But I don't know about you, I can't live with the idea that Hope's death would be for nothing. I fully need God to bring good from it even as my heart continues to be broken in two. I am definitely not the same person I was before January 15, 2020. I can't ever go back, but I'm learning to accept the new definition of myself even though it's been born from so much pain.